Aspect Aléatoire

So many things have gone on since my last post that I don't know where to begin or end.

• food poisoning last week (actually, May 4); hopefully, I'll continue the reduced eating forced upon me. So far, I've done fairly well, though I had a bit too much sugar on Saturday at a friend's house (and only about 10% of what I would normally have), and it made me so sick the next day that I didn't go to church on Sunday. I just wanted to get rid of that poisonous mass any way I could. Blech!


• Fists in the Pocket (1965) excellent Italian movie, first by Marco Bellocchio. Dark, twisted, etc.


• Hostel (2006) One of the most corrupt movies I've ever seen. I cannot dis-recommend it enough.


• Heartbreaking news (sometimes these stories just grip me horribly): a 16-year old high school student (popular football player) was bitten by a rabid bat, but he didn't realize he'd been bitten. He developed rabies and died last Friday. Awful awful awful.


• Other heartbreaking news: A young man (mid 20's?) left his twins (1-yr olds) in the bathtub to be taken care of by his 6-yr old daughter; one of the twins died. Terrible that one of the babies died; also terrible that the 6-yr old is aware enough that she will forever believe it's her fault. BTW, the mother is in prison, and the dad will more than likely go to prison, too.


• (Tainted) Good news: for about a week and a half, I had totally broken the "I am totally worthless" mantra I've lived by most of my life. I didn't think I was a great person, but I was slightly beyond scum of the earth. And when I fell from that thought (of not being too horrible), I was totally shocked how much like having a 2x4 shoved through the core of my body this felt, though I really don't have a point of reference there to actually having had a 2x4 shoved through my body. It's my own fault; it always is. How easily I can slip into old thought patterns. It could possibly be months to recover from this, if at all.