Weddings

I went to a wedding last night. It was quite beautiful. Weddings usually are. It was simple, tasteful, and elegant. There were candles—votives, not pillars or tapers—on four or five levels, with a vine of roses intertwined in the stand. Very cool stuff. The ceremony itself was quite short—roughly 15 minutes, the shortest I can recall.

I'm extremely happy for the couple, yet weddings make me sad, very sad indeed. I cannot comprehend opening myself up to anyone, letting them in, being that exposed to someone. Even more than that, I'm barely comfortable that God accepts me fully (a relatively recent development), but to even contemplate that someone might see me as anything more than just some guy who makes you laugh and listens well, well, that is far beyond my limited powers of imagination. I can't imagine letting myself go enough to allow that. I would not be a good husband.

Much like Groucho Marx said about clubs, I would not want to marry someone who would be willing to marry someone like me.