Sunday, August 06, 2006

just to write something

I actually watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy tonight. I saw this same story on E.R. many years ago: a 14-year-old girl is brought in for abdominal pain only to find out upon further investigation that she is dual-gendered. (I know that's not the proper term, but I can't recall the formal term. And I know "hermaphrodite" is the old term.)

The parents weren't going to tell their child and wanted the doctor to remove the errant organs while also removing the tumor causing the problem (which happened to be pressing against the non-descended testicles, at least as far as I understood). Fortunately, the doctor refused to do this to her patient.

At 14, the child is old enough to know what's going on. She (or he) is old enough to have a say in the decision to her or his own body. Having previously attempted suicide, it should be painfully obvious to the parents that maybe there are some problems here, and just circumventing their child's ability to be involved in her own life in order to placate their own desires for a "normal" child is just wrong.

I have no children. I have no wife. What do I know? I know enough to know that a rash decision on the part of their parents—no matter how well-intended to "protect" their child from further harm—will only cause problems for all involved. In fact, the rash decision seems to only serve the parents' desire. I can't imagine how I would feel in this situation were it my child, and I don't blame the parents for wanting things to be back to "normal", for their world has just been shattered. But denying what's gone on won't unshatter their world. Ignorance isn't always bliss; sometimes it's dangerous.

Yes, it's a messed up story that is sadly pulled from real life. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world, and stories like this will continue. As much as we prefer to live in the past when things were simpler, cases like this force us to open our minds—and our hearts.

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